


Taste in "Fictional" Men

by Seeka



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Coming Out, Cute, Gay Prompto Argentum, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Otome - Freeform, Sexual Incompatibility, Silly, bland name games, otome addiction, phontome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 00:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18487597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seeka/pseuds/Seeka
Summary: "So, Prompto, are you gay or just addicted to otomes?"And thusly, Gladio has a complete lack of tact.





	Taste in "Fictional" Men

Everyone would have to remind Prompto to never buy cheap gas station headphones again. The soundtrack of whatever game he playing still blared through his cheap five-hundred gil earbuds, occasionally accented with voice acting and a deep heartbeat that rumbled the passenger seat.

It had been a game Prompto had been playing obsessively. For days now. It had done more than pique Noctis' curiosity. His curiosity was enraged.

"Prompto," he tugged out one of the earbuds, decorated with a chocobo, "what are you playing?"

"It's nothing." Quick to betray that statement, Prompto hid the phone out of sight.

It took a tremendous effort out of Noctis to even peer at the phone. "Come on Prompto. If it's an awesome game you should share."

"It's not that great. I'm just invested!"

"Still, you've done nothing but play it for the past few days!"

"Invested!"

"Just let us see it Prompto." Gladio was snaking his tree trunk of an arm through the minuscule space between the seat and door.

"Yeep!" With his butterfingers and clumsy movements, the phone went airborne.

Landing directly in Ignis' lap.

Everyone was silent as Ignis reached between his legs for Prompto's phone, a conspicuous object, wrapped in a chocobo phone skin as bright as the sun. The Regalia slowed to a crawl, almost as if it was waiting in anticipation.

A cursory skim of the phone's screen. His face stayed stoic, betraying no emotion.

He passed it back to Prompto, the back to Noctis and Gladio, almost as if the waving chocobo was a taunt.

"Thank you." It was spoken like a prayer to an Astral.

They _must_ know what this poorly kept secret game was.

Speeding up to an Ignis approved velocity, the Regalia no longer waited in anticipation, as if it gained knowledge through Ignis' touch. Noctis and Gladio were left without this said information and fuming because of it. Both had taken up nearly the same exact pose. Arms crossed with the brows furrowed. A slight pout took over Noctis' usual resting bitch face.

Vigilance had taken over Prompto, as he now only had one of his ridiculously cheery earbuds in as he played his mystery game.

Again Gladio took to trying to steal away the phone by cramming his arm through the unforgiving space between the passenger seat and the door. Prompto snaked away from the arm, avoiding Gladio's blind grabs with ease.

"Just give us a peak Prompto!" Noctis made for the other side, practically begging as he lunged.

As if the arm belonged to a daemon, Prompto slipped out of reach within the seat."No!"

"Come on Prompto." Neither of them would give up, but Prompto had taken residence in floor, folding his body in a rather uncomfortable position so he could play his game unbothered.

"Nope."

With a sigh, Ignis tiredly slapped away Noctis' grabby hands. "They're not going to stop until they see that game."

A sigh of Prompto's own followed, his entire body resigning to the idea."Don't remind me."

Seconds of silence passed, the only sounds being the winds whispering over their heads, the tires kissing the road, the hum of the quiet radio, and the romantic soundtrack of the mystery game blaring through Prompto's chocobo earbuds.

Prompto miserably handed Ignis his phone, like it was a cursed artifact. Again, Ignis took a cursory glance before handing the phone off to Noctis and Gladio in the backseat, who, both so gleeful, fumbled with it between them.

Finally, an answer. They would know the secret super awesome game that had Prompto so invested.

... well not an immediate answer would come to them.

Most of the screen had a dark overlay and choices written in a whimsical font.

The top choice: 'Kiss Him'.

The choice beneath: 'Hold Him Close'.

Noctis and Gladio didn't trouble themselves with rumination over what was the right choice. They did what anyone would do.

"Kiss the fool!" Gladio had announced as Noctis plonked the choice.

"Oh no." If there was a spell Prompto could cast to become miniature or invisible like in Final Fantasy, he would cast it.

What happened next left the car quiet.

The screen transitioned to a scene. A young man, hair the color of straw and eyes half-lidded had crashed his lips against those of another man. The man was built like a statue, with hair the color of snow. Ice colored tears ran down in rivers from the built man, his eyes as wide as platters in surprise.

The plum colored speech window proceeded to describe the main character's feelings exploding and welling within him, as well as the warmth of the other man's lips and the coldness of his tears. It went into detail over some of what had probably happened.

And then...

"Oh... That's not good." Gladio said to himself, watching the unfolding events.

"Prompto I think we fucked up." Noctis cringed at what they had done.

"What? Let me see!" Yanking back his phone, Prompto watched as the main character was decimated by beration from the man he kissed. "Aw man! I already got this ending too."

Nobody said anything, Prompto not exactly realizing what was going on in everyone's thoughts.

"So, Prompto, are you gay or just addicted to otomes?"

Until Gladio said it.

"May the Astrals cleave this road in twain and let the earth swallow me whole." Prompto pleaded to the heavens.

"If you're gay, we have no problem with it," Gladio continued, giving a careless shrug, "but if you have an addiction we may have to intervene."

It took a few seconds for that to sink in with Prompto.

"Huh? Wait-... what?"

"Prompto, do you have an otome addiction? If so, as crown prince, I will set up an intervention!" Noctis said as seriously as he could muster.

Still confused, Prompto mostly sat in the passenger seat, confused and embarrassed and still wishing for the earth to swallow him whole. "Whuh?"

Leaning forward, Noctis reassured Prompto with a smile. "We accept you for who you are Prompto."

"It's okay, to be gay." Gladio said, ruffling Prompto's hair.

"It's okay to be gay. It's not okay to sound like an afterschool special." Noctis flicked at Gladio's shoulder with a smirk.

"That kind of hurts princey." With a playful shove, Gladio fought back. That quickly evolved into one of their backseat brawls.

Rolling his eyes as far back as they could possibly go, Ignis shook his head. "Nothing to worry about Prompto."

There was finally a grin on Prompto's face as he realized everything. "So... you guys really accept me?"

That stopped both of the men in their tracks. "Of course Prompto."

"Yeah buddy."

Noct's blue eyes focused elsewhere though. "But it wasn't like we didn't already know."

"You guys already knew?"

"Prompto, I've known you since high school." Noctis informed. "And also I snooped on your computer. Your hentai collection is scary huge."

"You have plenty of our ass shots Prompto." Gladio added.

With a shrug Ignis finished the combo. "Just knew."

Forget the world swallowing him whole. Instead, Prompto wished to be launched into space. Ejected to a black hole by the pure strength of Regalia's car seat.

What harmed Prompto's idea was the fact that despite being the coolest car in the world, the Regalia did not have ejector seats like in the movies.

A long awkward pause followed as Prompto wished to die, replaying through his route that his two friends unknowingly screwed over for him.

"So... what's the otome Prompto?" Noctis questioned, residing in the space between the driver and passenger seat. Gladio plonked his chin on top of the headrest, amber eyes catching very little over Prompto's yellow antennae.

Humming to himself, Prompto returned to the main menu, pulling up the selection of stories, bachelors. It was taking oh so much willpower to resist correcting them on what an otome was, but he resisted as he showed them the selection menu.

"Holy crud." Both their eyes widened.

Snickering as their jaws dropped, Prompto at swiped his screen. "The name of it is 'Fantasia Finality'. It's about a young man who wishes to fall in love before he dies, with the man of his dreams."

"That's really sad..."

"Well it depends on the bachelor, but most of the time the main character doesn't die. Over time they just kept adding bachelors. The most recent batch has brought the total up to fifty suitors!"

"Fifty?!"

"That seems a little... much." Ignis commented, astonished, pushing his glasses onto the bridge of his nose.

A shrug came from Prompto. "They released the game a few years back with only four guys. It just exploded from there!"

"It's hard imagining fifty individual bachelors." Ignis continued to comment, while Noctis and Gladio watched, entranced by the graphics and Prompto simply flicking through the men, as if he were turning them all down until he got to one whose company he would enjoy.

There was a snort from Prompto. "Honestly, not all of them were that great. But they hired some out of studio writers and the fandom all agree that the storyline written by them weren't that great. Except for one. That man was godly!" A whistle flew through his lips as he embraced his phone tight. "That man!"

Everyone, except Prompto sat in awkward silence. Even the Regalia was weirdly quiet as she conquered the road.

"Anyways... I need some help. Who am I going to choose last?"

"Last?" It was Gladio who questioned this choice.

"Yeah. I always save who I believe is best for last." Prompto said, peering up at Gladio. "I go through all the others first. Then woo the last fella."

"Who are you're choices Prompto?"

"Well first we have..." There was a flicking of the screen. "Pyrrh. He owns a cafe, takes care of an adolescent street boy, and has OCD." He informed, giving the lowdown on the suitor. The bachelor was certainly handsome, in a butler fashion.

"Sounds like he has his life together."

"Mhm." There was a nod as Prompto swiped again. A far more muscular man appeared in Pyrrh's place. "This is Oleander. He's a bodyguard for a mafioso, and enjoys working out and hot rods."

A hot little whistle escaped Gladio's pursed lips. "My kind of man."

Everyone let that comment pass. With some resistance. Snickers slipped through Noctis' lips, and Ignis had this smirk that ripped clean through his face.

The next bachelor appeared on the screen. He was not traditionally handsome, instead having a delicate face, and bags under his eyes. "Now he's Somn. He's the secret heir to a mega-corp, but he suffers from narcolepsy and general irresponsibility and procrastination."

There was a tilting of Noctis's head, a raise of his eyebrows. Being the prince of a nation, though rather discreet, media did create characters in his image. Still. "I like him." Noctis said, pretending to be oblivious."Totally worth it."

"Now which one?"

"Oleander seems like a real catch." Gladio remarked, watching as Prompto swiped to the buff bodyguard.

"The story of Pyrrh would be most interesting Prompto."

"I think Somn is more your type." Noctis said amused, swiping through all the men, but landing on Somn and his sunken face.

"Hmm..."

There wasn't a secret ending. If there was, whoo boy, Prompto was not putting forth the effort for it. So it was basically his choice of the last three men.

"Mmm..." Oleander was on screen, with his bulging muscles and a sort of cockiness that lead to downfall.

"I don't like this guy too much."

So downtrodden, Gladio acted as if he had been stepped on. "Huh, why?"

"I feel like he's too confident. That often leads to problems with accepting the truth. Not to mention the character in the story has self-esteem issues that stems from his youth. Overconfident people don't balance out cocky people. Maybe for a short while, but it doesn't work out well. I think I'd be cringing throughout their interactions."

The truth was harsh, and Gladio sunk into his seat, feeling pity for the fictional Oleander. That his story would be first, cringey, and the least enjoyable.

As far as anyone knows.

Noctis gave a sympathetic glance but his smug grin silently spoke of victory. "Next?"

A finger scratched underneath his lips. "I don't know. Both of them seem really great to end the game with."

"Is there any qualities that make you lean towards one more than the other?" It was time for deduction by Ignis.

"There is always a guy who is pushed as the main interest of the packages, though, I don't know which. I try to save those for last, but... hmm..."

It was debate time, and the soundtrack of Danganronpa was playing in Prompto's mind.

"Pyrrh might seem like he has control issues Prompto, but imagine the storyline that would be born of the main character helping him through those issues." Ignis was the first to offer a reason.

"Yeah, but," Ready to counter was Noct, "He is also taking care of a homeless kid and running a cafe. His story may be busy and not conclusively."

"That is true." With a flat tone Ignis conceded. He didn't exactly know how he got involved advocating a fictional man for a debate about a visual novel.

"Somn, though, he's going to be fun. Not to mention, as the owner of a megacorporation, he's probably going to cure the main character of his illness. Live happily ever after, right?" More advocating for his candidate, despite the race being on lock.

"That's not promised." Ignis commented.

"But it's likely."

Prompto bit his chapped and skin plucked lips.

"Alright... Pyrrh is second. Somn is last."

Raucous cheering broke out from Noctis. He hooted and hollered "Go Somn!" until everyone stopped thinking it was endearing. Then he stopped right after everyone, even Prompto, thought he was annoying.

After getting the correct ending on the previous bachelor, Prompto started Oleander's route, with Gladio attentively watching over his golden antennae, Noctis leaning comfortable back and smug, and Ignis just driving in contemplative silence, mostly unchanged by the entire affair.

But Prompto was happy, and happiness was all that mattered.


End file.
